Oh, Be Careful Little Tongue, What You Say

I was frustrated! Angela and I went out for a nice dinner, but the service left a lot to be desired. Our server failed to get several things right, was slow in bringing items we requested, and seemed to ignore us when walking by our booth. I had already calculated in my mind what I was going to say and how this would affect her tip.

Then our server completely disappeared, and a different server took over. Shortly, the manager came by and offered his apology. We learned it was our server’s first night on her own and she was overwhelmed by the responsibilities. We overheard the waitstaff say she locked herself in the bathroom and was crying uncontrollably. My frustration melted into compassion as I recalled the hard first days on some of my jobs.

Paul wrote our conversation should “be always full of grace.” In this context, grace implies mercy and compassion be given, even though unearned and undeserved. It is acting toward another the way God in Christ has acted toward me. My rehearsed speech was full of criticism and judgment, but I suspect our server had already spoken that to herself. She needed words of grace and encouragement.

Paul added our conversation should be “seasoned with salt.” Salt was used in a variety of ways in the first century, to preserve, to flavor, as an antiseptic and even as a currency. So, I need to ask: Will my words preserve a relationship or destroy it? Will they leave a pleasant taste or bitter aftertaste? Will they bring healing or make the hurt worse? Are my words good as gold or as worthless as a counterfeit? Hard questions to consider!

Solomon wrote, “The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit” (Pro. 18:21). Words are powerful things. We tend to treat them casually, but they can minister life or death. The adage “sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can never hurt me” is patently false! The broken bones I’ve sustained have all healed but recalling hurtful nicknames still stings. No, I won’t tell you what they were!

Gordon McDonald writes, “What the Christian has to say must fit closely to the needs of those to whom he speaks … to sustain the one who is weary, to speak God’s word and tell of his righteousness, and bring God’s wisdom to bear … becoming the tongue of silver Solomon encouraged (Pro. 10:20).”

It will take a lifetime of learning the power of words “so that you may know how to answer everyone.” When our server returned to our table to offer her sincere apology, my calculated speech was replaced with words of encouragement. I am thankful my heart and my words softened, that my salty words became instead words “seasoned with salt.”

Solomon wrote, “a word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver” (Pro. 25:11). Perhaps a word check is in order!

Blessings,
Pastor David